How do you handle an angry teen when the anger is directed at you and you know you are not the cause. Sometimes the teen just needs to vent that surge of angry feelings; unfortunately, very often there is no place, no outlet to do that. I don’t know if you have every been the recipient of wrathful venomous streams of uncensored curses, or have ever witnessed another adult receiving a barrage of vengeful epithets. I know I have.
I worked for a year in St Alban’s at a pretty difficult school. There was a lot of anger in the atmosphere and a lot of angry expressions among the students, primarily directed toward the teachers. When I could finally face that I was not the cause of the anger, I could better distance myself from it and allow it to pass through me. When I didn’t resist it, but allowed it credence it seemed to dissipate. When I could simply see the anger of the youngster in front of me and acknowledge that it was there, something very calming would happen. I might say, “I see you are angry. I get you are angry. I understand you are angry. I am sorry you are so angry.” If I made any of these responses with genuine caring, an amazing thing happened. The anger would slow to a halt. Most people want to be heard. Teens especially want to be heard. Sometimes if you take a breath and allow the anger to be heard you might calm an upsetting moment.
